Wait this isn't blood...

A few weeks ago the medical facility I work in had an “active shooter drill”.  It’s a scenario that is carefully planned and mapped out including local authorities, swat teams, employees heavily made up to play the role of casualties and victims.  We also hired an actor to play the role of the shooter so no one, not even the employees participating would know who he was.

Working in administration I got to see the whole thing play out, gun shots, blood splattered on the walls, people screaming, hospital security barking out instructions, the gunman terrorizing the employees and threatening them…SWAT team swooping in rifles drawn...EMT’s trying to get to the victims…and the cameras were rolling…remember it was just a drill.  

Once the “gunman” was apprehended and the drill was over we did a debriefing with the employees involved.  Sitting around the board room table were employees who were actually crying, hyperventilating, visually upset, holding their makeshift wounds, wiping syrupy blood from their faces and completely undone by what they experienced.

It took almost a half hour to calm everyone down, shake some of them into reality and remind them that the blood gushing from their heads was not real.  They had gotten so involved in the action..that they forgot it was just a drill.  Going in, each of them knew that the gunman would be apprehended, no one would be hurt.  But actually living out the active shooter script caused most of them to almost forget that was just a test. They filed one by one in the bathroom to wash off the remnants of a war not fought and eventually went back to their offices.

As believers, we sometimes forget that the little battles in our marriages, our parenting, our jobs, our families, our churches all belong to the Lord.  In the end, it has already been pre-declared that we win.  So to allow the battle to overtake you, no matter how real it may seem is to forget who is sitting on throne. Now sometimes the pain is excruciating and the blood IS real, but it is in those times that we have to remember that we are trained for battle. We did the drill. We know how to fight and with what. The bible teaches that the weapons of warfare are not carnal but spiritual. There is nothing coming that you don’t have the grace to deal with. Don’t live in fear, but in faith that you are fully prepared and your God is well able to always deliver. The blood is just syrup…now wipe your face and go back to work.

Tribulation worketh patience…and both are annoying

The Superfamily is finally back into our house, but it’s still far from being our home. We still have boxes everywhere! We are going through the process of going through each box to determine what goes and what stays. I view this as a fresh start, a new beginning…a chance to rid ourselves of the old and look forward to the new. Ideally, this would be a good exceptthe process is painstaking. If this was just my home, over 80% of these boxes would not have made it back in the door from the restoration people. Why? If you haven’t seen it, worn it or use it in 2 years you don’t need it, chances are you are merely accumulating it with the fear that no more is coming. Fear is a horrible, inconsistent motivator. I've seen for years what the poverty mentality does to people and it’s sad. Remember, It doesn’t matter whether you have “money” or not, the mentality of being poor is worse than actually being poor. Message to others:  Learn to let things...GO.


That’s a difficult principle to teach especially in a blended family. Every piece of paper, all 4,954 photos, every other stitch of clothing reminds someone on one side or the other of what their life USED to be. In order for us to get to where I believe God is calling us, that can no longer be the focus or driving force behind every decision. A memory maybe…the focus…no. Whereas I have worked hard over the years to get to the place that the most important memories I have aren’t captured in a book or something material…they are captured in my heart and in my spirit…I learn daily that everyone hasn’t gotten there yet nor do they view it at the same level of importance.

So in the interim, I live in clutter and there MUST be extra grace being applied from God for me to deal with it, because people that know me “for real for real” know that this stuff (mine, his, hers, there's EVERYBODY's) would have been on the curb weeks ago and my house would have been cleaned, organized and decorated for Thanksgiving. What is this teaching me…patience? Well, Tribulation worketh patience…and BOTH are annoying. But I will need patience to become the multipreneur that I am working to be. I will need patience to edit my 2nd and 3rd book simultaneously. I will need patience to work on this TV pilot project. I will need patience to continue to go to work everyday and seek out new and  different things to learn. I will need patience to sow wisdom into my lil’ heirs. I will need patience with myself to forgive me when I screw up and when I don’t have enough patience with others. There is hope...in the very next verse that I reference above..patience brings experience (or character) and experience reaps hope! Character and hope are excellent fruit of learning how to wait...so I believe I'll just teach by example, sit still and wait right here....bouncing my leg up & down and tapping my fingers feverishly :).

Gardening in the house

His Highness and I are stepping up our gardening this year.  We started a small garden last year and successfully grew green peppers, banana peppers and the like.  This year we are branching out and planting other fruits and veggies such as greens, watermelons, crowder peas, lettuce and tomatoes.  

Our ground (zone 5) is hard and cold right now.  Our growing season is short comparatively.  Knowing this, it is wise to start your seeds in a planter..grow them inside to prepare them for outside.  You are limited by space in the house of course, but by starting small, you gain an advantage to have a bigger harvest than what you would have if you had waited until the ground was ready.

Step parenting or parenting in general is a major lesson of seed….time….and harvest.  If you wait until your children are “ready” to hear instruction from you or accept your advice or guidance, you have lost prime time in making a difference.  With stepchildren this is even more vital because in some cases, depending on the situation, or due to resentment or family structure you may not be revered as an authoritative voice in their life. BUT that does not preclude you from the lessons you can teach from afar, by example…seedlings.

There are things I do, or don’t do that “teach” all time.  The way I serve my husband, decorate my home, organize my day, plan in advance, what I wear, how I speak, my mistakes, my triumphs..  It may be “small” in that I am not sitting down having a one on one consultation on the do’s and do not’s…but my little actions can speak louder than words.  One day when the “ground is ready” my wisdom, insight, or perspective may be better received and a harvest greater than what would have been realized if my little seedlings had not been planted along the way. Seed...TIME....and Harvest..

What had happened was....

Usually, when someone starts a sentence off like this (my title), what's to follow isn't always what I want to hear. Besides the fact that's its horrible grammar, that statement "what had happened was..." usually indicates that this story may be fabricated or at the least exaggerated to the favor of the person telling the story. Well, that's not true in my case. I couldn't make up a story like this one on my BEST writer fiction moments. (insert announcer voice here) The story you are about to hear is true. The characters you will meet in these pages are actual people, not actors. Well, they are actors...kinda dramatic, over the top actors, if you want to know the truth. But their situations are real and so are the days of lives....(insert dramatic serial music here). But just like the lighthouse in this picture shines and gives direction in chaos, I pray that our lives give families hope. Hope that after the storm, life (and sometimes a GREAT life) moves on.

It all began back in 1996 when my divorce was finalized. Well, maybe before then, but I'll save that for the book, or the TV show. But anyway, I stood in an old court room with about 4 people in it including the judge. It was a stark contrast to the wedding I had 10 years prior. There were people everywhere, cheering me on, bearing gifts and eating that awesome honey baked ham. BAMN! The judge banged the gavel and pronounced me instead of "man and wife" something that sounded in my head like "severed". As in, cut away from your previous spouse with a rusty, ancient chainsaw. I am sure he said something politically correct like "marriage dissolved" or "legally divorced". But my heart heard severed and the jagged edges left by the sad ending to my marriage were bleeding profusely and it wasn't likely to me that I was going to survive. But with my children waiting on me to pick them up from school I had a purpose, be it ever so slight, to keep my head above water. For the next four years, I experienced some of the most horrendous hard times of my life. Battling dysfuctional relationships, watching my previous church home split apart, working two jobs, going to school, taking care of my kids and making extremely hard choices that I wouldn't wish on anyone. Truth of the matter is, old folks used to say "my soul looks back and wonders how I got over"...well I get it now... I understand why they would shake their heads in disbelief at the trials and tribulations that they overcame through the grace of God. As I type this and begin to reflect on specific days, times, issues, problems, disasters, I shake my head now and MY soul looks back and wonders...how I got over. I am glad I know the answer to that. If I hadn't lasted long enough to find out the how's and why's...this story would get pretty boring and sad right about now.