Gardening in the house

His Highness and I are stepping up our gardening this year.  We started a small garden last year and successfully grew green peppers, banana peppers and the like.  This year we are branching out and planting other fruits and veggies such as greens, watermelons, crowder peas, lettuce and tomatoes.  

Our ground (zone 5) is hard and cold right now.  Our growing season is short comparatively.  Knowing this, it is wise to start your seeds in a planter..grow them inside to prepare them for outside.  You are limited by space in the house of course, but by starting small, you gain an advantage to have a bigger harvest than what you would have if you had waited until the ground was ready.

Step parenting or parenting in general is a major lesson of seed….time….and harvest.  If you wait until your children are “ready” to hear instruction from you or accept your advice or guidance, you have lost prime time in making a difference.  With stepchildren this is even more vital because in some cases, depending on the situation, or due to resentment or family structure you may not be revered as an authoritative voice in their life. BUT that does not preclude you from the lessons you can teach from afar, by example…seedlings.

There are things I do, or don’t do that “teach” all time.  The way I serve my husband, decorate my home, organize my day, plan in advance, what I wear, how I speak, my mistakes, my triumphs..  It may be “small” in that I am not sitting down having a one on one consultation on the do’s and do not’s…but my little actions can speak louder than words.  One day when the “ground is ready” my wisdom, insight, or perspective may be better received and a harvest greater than what would have been realized if my little seedlings had not been planted along the way. Seed...TIME....and Harvest..

Scars from a Big Wheel

My husband and I have the best goddaughter in the world. Yup, I'm braggin' on her because she is the most considerate, hardworking and humble young lady that I have met in a long time. Even when she found herself in error-she listened, humbled herself, learned and moved on. She is the mother of an adorable, incredibly smart two year old and when I see them together I think about when I was a single mom and how much further along she is than I was. I can't think about it too long before tears will well up in my eyes. I am so grateful that she learned early that making consistently stupid, out of the will of God mistakes doesn't delete the first mistake. It just amplifies it and sows seed and cycles of rebellion and discord in your life. I didn't quite catch on as fast as she did and I paid dearly. But now...she doesn't have to pay....as much.



I told the kids when they were younger that "I got this scar on my knee by running my big wheel into a tree. Now kids, you run YOUR big wheels in to the tree and see what happens." They were like..."NO....I will hurt myself"..I said "how do you know that?" My daughter said, "cause look at YOUR knee." They GOT it! You don't have to make the same mistakes to see if those errors will cause havoc. You can look at the damage and scars of my knee and know that running a Big Wheel into a tree is probably not a great idea. Look at the battle scars of someone else that has gone through what you are facing, ask and learn. Early on, our goddaughter (after some urging from my husband) did that...and she is now, with some great decisions and grace, living a supernaturally blessed life.



I get to share and teach her "mommy" stuff. You know, like how to balance life and single motherhood and how to take care of yourself. I also share simple mother wisdoms that teach her priority, character and sacrifice like-"never go out the house with your child looking dirty, raggedy and uncared for while you are dressed to the nines". Or how as a mom and an example now, your persona, attire and your conversation has to mature. I didn't know she even really valued those things I told her until once when she was bringing the baby over, she called me ahead of time while driving in the car to tell me why she didn't have time to comb the baby's hair..(she was excused... :-). Mind you, she has a great mom and sisters. I am usually just another confirming voice.


My husband gets to share with her practical things like making the right job choices and how to invest and manage your 401k. She was having issues with adjusting to being a manager and getting the respect she needed to perform properly and he helped her wade through it. They talk about what she will major in her master's program and how she can use it later. She is getting ready to buy her first home and he has been sharing with her about what to look for and where. He shares parenting things with her from a dads perspective and he also brings down the hammer of correction when he sees her being too leinient with the baby, getting run down and tired or not spending time for herself.


The key to all of this is...she respects what we know..she shares, she asks and she listens. We got a card from her yesterday that was so heartfelt. It was just a gift from God in timing. An awesome woman had just shared with me that she felt led to tell me that we would have more children (maybe not natural) to lead and teach. I believe, Our goddaughter is one of those people.


As parents, (bio, step, grand, godparents, or spiritual parents) our jobs include teaching, training, discipling and encouragement. When we look at their lives we want to be able to see glimpses that "they listened", "they heard", "they got it", "they are better", "they are wiser". There is a season (for some) that your kids think you know absolutely nothing, don't panic-its just folly-or as I say in modern english terms "short term mild brain damage"...it will pass. But as opportunities re-present themselves-give it to them again with both barrels. You will have to be transparent to a degree. You may have to open up a bit and show them the past hurts. Share, teach, show, disciple, and share some more...Show them your scars from the big wheels of life. It may help them to avoid that gigantic tree up ahead.

The Optimus Prime Principle

On Sunday, Our Co-Pastor was speaking about “transformation” and encouraging those in worship to believe God for transformation in the area of their lives that needed changing. Moi, being the super spiritual power house that I am (riiiiiiiiiight.....lol) immediately began thinking about a movie. Yup, right in the middle of worship, I was thinking about a motion picture and I couldn’t shake it. It was relevant though, even though it seemed a tad inappropriate and intrusive at the time.

I thought about the Transformers…you know Optimus Prime, Bumblebee…decepticons, autobots..The Transformers! As soon as she said it, I saw Optimus Prime changing from an 18 wheeler to a robot in my mind over and over. I wasn’t too surprised as I know that God uses Movies and TV to teach me principles and spiritual things all the time for two good reasons; I am an extremely creative/visual type learner and the 2nd more obvious reason- I watched A LOT of TV in my day. So He's getting some use out of that seemingly senseless wealth of knowledge. Just wait to you see the pieces I am writing on Superman and Pinky & the Brain !! Anyway; immediately, I couldn’t say why that picture of Optimus transforming kept replaying in my head. What does this have to do with Parenting, Step-parenting? Or being married or being in a second marriage? Hmmmm, what can we glean from the “ Optimus Prime Principle” (lol)..?.

Everything they need to fight and function as a robot was in them as a vehicle. They didn’t need to pick up parts or add anything someone else had in order to operate as something else. They just heard the command “Autobots Transform” and then they switched. When they changed, everything adjusted to accommodate their new role. What were headlights is now armor for the chest. What was the engine, now serves as the brain for a functioning robot. Why? Because to prepare for battle you can’t remain the same way. There is a battle for your household and for your marriage. You can’t remain the same way, do the same thing and expect to be able to fight and win. You can’t see your child acting crazy and just “let them be”. You can’t notice the communication in your marriage getting touchy and just ignore it. You can’t continuously see your house falling apart and in disarray, kick the shoes and garbage to the side and keep going. You gotta use what you have, transform it and function differently in order to win.

What were executive administrative and office manager skills now serves at managing, organizing and maintaining a super-sized family. What was used in teaching in Sunday school and VBS, now is used for teaching children, god-daughters, nieces and nephews. The info gained from being the Secretary of the youth choir was used to take formal minutes years later in an executive auto meeting. Things my husband learned from his mother and sister (cooking cleaning, shopping and combing hair) prepared him for raising his kids alone when their mom died.

You have what is necessary to handle the roles you have been called upon to play out. Think, what can you already do well. What may seem insignificant, could be the transformable skill you need in a new area. Use the skills sets you already have and then adjust, refine, develop and transform. Transformers are really much “More than meets the eye”.