Bathroom Stall Missionary Baptist Church

I am so blessed to work in a place now (my day job) that fosters a pleasant environment. It’s peaceful, and quiet for the most part at least in my area. It promotes health, service excellence, wellness, and clean eating. It’s a pleasure to come here to serve and I usually leave with more than I came with. BUT it hasn’t always been that way for me. I have worked in settings that were the polar opposite. To walk in the door and feel the heaviness of immediate stress was common place. Department team members warring with each other and all of the office politics that you could imagine, plus some you can’t. It was in those types of environments that I became a member of Bathroom Stall Missionary Baptist Church and I would like to extend an invitation to you.

This church has been SO faithful and always available when I need it. When I would feel the stresses of the job overwhelming me or when I can see I was losing the battle with my emotions I would make a visit to this church and come out encouraged and fortified…and yes, all it takes is a simple trip to the bathroom.

The bathroom (especially at work, but even at home) can be a GREAT place to regroup and get yourself together so you can represent yourself as a lady would. I go sometimes to just have a moment to pray for direction, peace, guidance or grace. Some go to their office and close the door, that’s an option. But at Bathroom Stall Baptist, you are less likely to get a knock on the door, a buzz from your secretary or a ding from your computer telling you about a meeting. Bathroom Stall Baptist offers just a few moments of peace. It’s not even that you are “using” the bathroom perse’, you are just stopping by as a member getting the time and space that you need.

I can specifically remember prayers that I prayed in the stall at very intense and difficult moments. It was usually at times when the pressures of life at home begin to meld with the tensions at work and I became ticking time bomb. If I had not had the wisdom to detach, take a walk, phone a friend and/or go regroup, there is a good chance that MANY times I would have made a mess of things by either overreacting or reacting out of emotion.

It’s imperative that we know OURSELVES. You KNOW when you feel like you are about to lose it. You can feel when emotions are beginning to overwhelm you. YOU recognize the stance you take when you are angry, upset, tired or misused. You know when you are PMS’ing and how you respond to things when you don’t feel well. Maturity dictates that your tendency to use excuses to fly off the handle in rage, argue or go into a dramatic crying temper tantrum has to be managed so you can grow. It’s time to stop allowing people to make excuses for you as well. When you act a fool, apologize for it and say out of your mouth “there is NO excuse for talking to you like that no matter what I was feeling”. Or you may have to tell someone that you used your emotions to manipulate them or to persuade them to see your point of view.  Its all a part of growth in our conduct, and I tell you...this "church" can help.

It starts with recognizing these signs earlier rather than later and taking steps to manage what you are feeling and facing appropriately:

1. Be honest about what you are feeling and then be responsible. Meaning, care enough about you to not push yourself to the brink of disaster assuming that you can handle it.
2. Remove yourself from where you are. There is NOTHING wrong with unplugging for minute. It is wisdom to put yourself in time out.  Do not feel guilty about it.
3. Re-emerge with a plan to face your issues or the rest of your day.
4. Visit again soon, even if nothing is wrong.  Just go in there and be thankful for a day of peace.

You may have a church home, and that’s great but I highly recommend that you become a secondary member of Bathroom Stall Baptist…there is room in the stall for YOU.

Why so downcast Camille?

To those of you that follow me on Twitter ( @ Queencdj) you know I “hit a bump” right at the beginning of the New Year. In just a two minute conversation with one of my kids, the enemy tried to get me off kilter right off the bat. Disappointment, discouragement, anger, hurt, fear, regret in myself and others streamed in and out of my head like a rushing river. I prayed about it. I went to church and tried to stay focused while going through the motions. But off and on all day, all evening my thoughts and fear betrayed me. I was afraid for some reason that God was going to leave me to face this alone. As if he was sitting on his throne saying “just deal with it, chick” Stupid I know, but that’s what I felt.

Then something interesting happened. I sat in my car before coming into work today and prayed for my job, my boss, the president of the company, my co-workers and staff members. Without thinking about it, I was suddenly not thinking about me anymore and prayed about our year at the office and thanked God for last year. I prayed for wisdom, creativity and favor for our CEO and those that worked with him.

After that, I went on into the office as I normally would battling back and forth in my mind as to what needed to be done and being resolute that I would not let my mind dwell too long on the negative things that are going on. Still felt a little down though, I was disheartened that a year starting with so much promise seemed to be getting off to a rocky start. I checked my email and there was...

Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise Him, my Savior and my God.” Psalm 43:5

That scripture was placed there by God ahead of time to be there to minister to me when I needed it. He hasn’t left me or forsaken me. The issues are still there, the problem is still looming, but GOD is there too. So for my first official blog of 2010 I proclaim that I can do ALL things though Christ which strengthens me. I can't say I feel like jumping up and down like the woman in this picture. But I am putting it there anyway as a reminder that one day my joy will be restored and I will smile again real soon.

I believe that by praying for others and taking the focus off of "me me me" for just those few minutes allowed my heart to soften enough to feel the presence of God in the midst of my issues. I thank him for giving me the mind to pray about others and the Word he sent to remind me that “this too shall pass…”

The Wicked Witch of the West

My Husband and I are going to see the musical "Wicked" . First of all, I LOVE musicals and I always like to know the story before the performance so I can follow along better. I do the same with ballets and operas. Besides its involvement of witchcraft, The Wizard of OZ is one of the most profound fairytales of all times. The lessons learned in each layer of the storyline is enough to digest for years. Everytime I watch it, there is a new lesson to be learned. No man could have planned that. Kingdom messages can be learned almost ANYWHERE. So, anyway in my research of the story "Wicked" which is a "prequel" to the Frank Baum story, I was astonished to note the change in my deameanor toward the original characters once I understood their motives. (There is a point to this just bear with me)...

For example; The infamous "ruby red slippers" were given to Dorothy by Glinda in the Wizard of Oz..but what you find in the "pre" story is that they weren't even hers to give. They belonged to Elphaba (the wicked witch of the west). She created those slippers for her wheelchair bound, paralyzed sister, Nessa (the one who ended up dead-under the house), so she could walk. Glinda was sorta behind the cyclone and giving them to Dorothy was really just to keep Elphaba distracted and chasing after Dorothy for the shoes (the last memento of her sister), when it was really Glinda that was responsible for her sister's death. Whew....so after figuring that out and reading a ton of other things...you find that those people perceived to be mean weren't really..they were responding out of hurt to a misjustice and were actually "right' and those who appear to be just or 'right" may not have necessarily been.

So lesson learned: Don't judge based on what you see on the surface. Someone may appear to have it all together. They may seem as if all their ducks are in a row and everything that comes out of their mouth is truth. Ummmmm not necessarily so...the ruby slippers they are trying to pawn off on you may not even be theirs to give. The reverse is also true. Just because someone comes off as mean, defensive or arbitrary does not mean that they are hopelessly bitter. If you dig deeper into their story you will find that they got dealt a bad hand and may not know how to overcome it.

Sidebar: I know if I was stuck with green skin and somebody stole my man and my sister's million dollar ruby encrusted shoes it would be on and poppin'!! Earrings off and vaseline out...and you would too...admit it.

You will handle people differently, if you care enough to dig a little deeper. You may also find that people you may have looked up to have some severe issues too and could have left a long line of hurt people behind them. Every "Glinda" with a white dress, a smile and a seemingly magic wand to make all your dreams come true is not necessarily good. And every green witch on a broom ain't all bad...give her back her shoes (or whatever is missing in their life, usually its Jesus in some form) and you may find yourself a new friend with wayyyyyyyyyyy more power, confidence and character than the undercover fake good person could have ever conjured up.

How does this apply to stepfamilies?? I'm glad you asked. There is this terrible stereotype for stepmoms known as the "evil stepmother".... Stepdads also have a simular "mean" assumption made about them. Stepchildren are often viewed as spoiled, rude, mean, inconsiderate and selfish. But the same thing applies to them...all of them...moms, dads, step moms, step dads, the step kids, the non custodial parents...everybody...the acting out- is out of loss. Loss of a dream marriage, loss of a spouse, loss of a parent, loss of a family, loss of a stable environment, loss of security...just plain ole' loss. Don't forget that big wild cyclone that happened, happened in all of your lives in some way. That storm took out and destroyed something or someone you loved and cared about. Be patient, pray and dig deeper. You may eventually find real love behind all that "green".

What Lies Beneath

The Superfamily has new carpet in the living room, dining room and the stairs leading to the basement. It was a pretty easy selection process as far as color. The kids even helped. We stayed pretty neutral and decided that a little darker was better. So, we have a light caramel color shag with flecks of creamy beige kinda. Well, carpet isn't exciting but it was something I thought about that I wanted to share. My husband pulled the old carpet back one day to show me the floor (we just bought this house last year) and it was hideous. I was at least expecting a nice hard wood floor that just needed a little elbow grease. But no, it was planks of odd shaped wood that was grimy and could never be shown in public. I thought about that floor the other day when I saw the new carpet. The carpet was beautiful and fluffy and made the whole house smell new. Noone would guess "what lies beneath" .

When people see us as a family, they see the "fluffy new carpet". They remember the wedding and the fireworks and the beautiful dress. They see the kids getting along and my husband I still holding hands as we walk down the street. They wouldn't guess "what lies beneath". No, we aren't undercover monsters but if we weren't covered by prayer, hard work and forgiveness we would show up no better than that grimy wood floor. Don't take for granted the things and people you see that you may admire or even envy. There is something that covers them as well. Learn the whole story about them, and us for that matter so you aren't disappointed if your husband isn't like mine seems to be, or your children don't seem to be behaving like our crew. TRUST ME, everyday a piece of our virtual carpet comes up exposing what's beneath. Through patience and diligence, we work hard to keep the "S" on our chest. In principle, You can have what someone has, or do what they have done, if you are willing to do what they did to get there.

We aren't the Superfamily because we can fly or can leap tall buildings. We are the superfamily because we respect the fact that it takes over and above the norm to be a success at what we have been charged to do. It takes SUPER compassion, SUPER discipline, SUPER caring, SUPER "everything"to deal with and finally conquer "What Lies Beneath".