Flying a little lower

Our SuperCape is ripped. We have been together almost three years now. We had some bumps and bruises when we first started but mostly they were from people outside of our home and we eventually sailed through it. But in just the 1st 6 months of this year the flaws, cracks and crevices have begun to come out of hiding and if you aren’t careful, when this happens (and it happens to almost EVERY stepfamily from what I studied) you can easily be overwhelmed.

We’ve got school issues, suspensions, bad grades and the like. We’ve got promiscuity issues and as a result new babies came, are here and are coming. We’ve got self esteem issues and we see desperation for attention in extremely unfruitful ways. There are diligence problems and anger issues and truth is you name it…we have dealt with it…are dealing it…or perhaps will deal it.

Mind you…that’s just the kids stuff..I haven’t shared with you my own struggles and things that John may be facing or working through. This blog entry would be too long.

Now it hasn’t all been rain..we have had some sunshine this year as well. We have had a college graduation and the announcement of two weddings. We got some awesome new furniture after three years of looking . We were proud parents/stepparent of two national band competition winners. One has managed a successful run in a student play. We have had two kids with major repair surgeries and both came out ok, with no alarm or issues.

Somehow, through it all we do not feel beleaguered or under siege. We just recognize that our Superfamily cape has rips and rips are ok...KEEP FLYING..just fly a little lower until you get the pieces back together.. We strongly believe that what we are facing is not just for us, but for other families who may be ashamed to admit to problems that they are facing and not know what to do. There has to be someone who has ridden a storm in order for others to see them and have hope. Willing or not, God chose us to ride ahead of others that are coming and stand on the rock like a lighthouse so others know that they can make it to the other side. A picture of a lighthouse is on our family mission statement and now more than ever God is calling us to be true to what we confessed our purpose to be!

Choices

Facing the music on the results of choices can be tough. ..especially bad choices. Or even worse, dealing with choices that others made that are affecting you. I tell my son all the time, issues you are dealing with now are results of the choices you made two weeks ago, two months ago, two years ago, what different choices are you making NOW that will result in outcomes in two weeks, two months, two years?

Everything is a choice. Who you call, who you ignore, what you eat, what you put away, what you spend, what you save, where you go, when you decide to stay home, what rules you break, what ones you obey, what you say, what you hold back, what bills you pay and what bills you put-off....

I hate to see cycles coming sometimes...you look up and you are in a familiar place ..and its not a good one. I mean you are still cordial, polite, smiling and hospitalable, but deep inside you know...something is coming...something is not right...I will not be able to hold back this storm...this time its coming and I will not be able to stop it. Actually, I don't want to stop it..come what may...lets just deal with it once and for all....and THAT too is a choice.

I've figured out that sometimes the "run" wears you out. Running from your past...running from your future, running from the phone, running from the mailbox, running from those that can help, running from the fallout of previous choices. At some point you need to stop running, and that is a choice. You need to just stop trying to juggle all the balls alone. Take your superman cape off for a minute and be honest. Be vulnerable, be humbled. I know most of you are saying you must BE crazy..I'm not. I just know that continuing to try to hold it all together when the dam is about to break can kill you. This time make a different choice. Let the chips fall where they may, sincerely turn it over to the only one that really knows all the right choices ~God.

Or, you can continue to do what you've always done in your family, your job, your marriage, your church, your friends, your home, your relationships...hold it all together by the skin of your teeth...but if you do...you'll continue to get what you've always had. If you want something different, DO something different-make a different choice. Ask for help!! I know "FOREIGN..."

Trust somebody, your spouse, friend, pastor or even if its nobody you can trust but God. But this time...don't go it alone...this time the stakes are higher and you may not make it back...trust me.. make a different choice. I'm working on doing the same.

What Lies Beneath

The Superfamily has new carpet in the living room, dining room and the stairs leading to the basement. It was a pretty easy selection process as far as color. The kids even helped. We stayed pretty neutral and decided that a little darker was better. So, we have a light caramel color shag with flecks of creamy beige kinda. Well, carpet isn't exciting but it was something I thought about that I wanted to share. My husband pulled the old carpet back one day to show me the floor (we just bought this house last year) and it was hideous. I was at least expecting a nice hard wood floor that just needed a little elbow grease. But no, it was planks of odd shaped wood that was grimy and could never be shown in public. I thought about that floor the other day when I saw the new carpet. The carpet was beautiful and fluffy and made the whole house smell new. Noone would guess "what lies beneath" .

When people see us as a family, they see the "fluffy new carpet". They remember the wedding and the fireworks and the beautiful dress. They see the kids getting along and my husband I still holding hands as we walk down the street. They wouldn't guess "what lies beneath". No, we aren't undercover monsters but if we weren't covered by prayer, hard work and forgiveness we would show up no better than that grimy wood floor. Don't take for granted the things and people you see that you may admire or even envy. There is something that covers them as well. Learn the whole story about them, and us for that matter so you aren't disappointed if your husband isn't like mine seems to be, or your children don't seem to be behaving like our crew. TRUST ME, everyday a piece of our virtual carpet comes up exposing what's beneath. Through patience and diligence, we work hard to keep the "S" on our chest. In principle, You can have what someone has, or do what they have done, if you are willing to do what they did to get there.

We aren't the Superfamily because we can fly or can leap tall buildings. We are the superfamily because we respect the fact that it takes over and above the norm to be a success at what we have been charged to do. It takes SUPER compassion, SUPER discipline, SUPER caring, SUPER "everything"to deal with and finally conquer "What Lies Beneath".