Saturday, October 30, 2010

Life as an open book...

Interesting…this time next year our life could be an open book for all the world to see. That’s right …we “The Superfamily” are being considered for a reality show. They want us to share about our blending…our transition and what it took to get to “one big happy family” (their words not mine). So with this on the horizon..what is the answer to that? What did it take to get to well..”happy”…well 1st lets dispel some misnomers..

1. We are not one big happy family. *shocked are you?* Probably more shocked that I will admit it. It’s the truth. We have some happy moments…we have some hilarious moments…but its not happy happy joy joy all the time…not even close.
2. We are not abnormal. We have a lot in common with “regular” families blended or not. We deal with favoritism, finances, household chores, school/grades/homework issues, scheduling problems, car troubles, issues on the job, unending laundry just like everybody else. However…although not abnormal…we are severely unique. The dynamics that play out on a day to day basis would take a “normal” set of parents out to the psych ward…
3. Blended families are common. Statistics confirm that over 67% of ALL families have a blended aspect at the some level. SOMEbody has a stepdad, stepchild, step uncle, cousins from your dad’s sister first husband… This statistic is going to be even higher after the results from the last census are released. So our mere size (13) makes us a standout…the fact that my husband is a widower and I am a divorcee’…is an interesting mix..but the fact that we are “blended”..well that pretty much commonplace nowadays. It merely means more people are facing what we are dealing with and need direction and understanding.

With that said how DID we get “here”? Pretty much the same way you get anything worth having…”faith and patience”. It takes strong, incredible, over the top faith to believe that things will not always be like you see them now…no matter how bad it is. You have to tell yourself that its just a phase…just a season and if you remain steadfast and believe that this family is “supposed” to be together. You remind yourself that they have been set apart to do something great and you believe that their gifts, talents and abilities are stronger and more dynamic together than they have ever been when apart.

The hardest part…is patience.. People try to force feed a stepfamily like a round peg in a square hole…it doesn’t work. Ive said this can’t thrown everyone into a blender, push a button and we all come out this blended family smoothie. You have a push a little…wait a little..push a little…wait a little..its one of the most frustrating processes I have ever had to endure, but when you see a principle or process that you have implemented actually working…it was worth it.

So now…we are on candid to speak…that too was a process no matter how the audition turns out. It took patience..the right time..the right people…the right moment…and no matter what, if just for the experience it was worth it.