Its' all gotta go....

As most of you know (if you follow me on FB or Twitter)The Superfamily just recent had a fire in our home. No one was hurt and nothing of any real value was damaged (no major structural damage etc..). However, even after the fire dept aired the house out with “superfan”, the house still smelled of burned plastic and smoke. Although the fire was contained to the basement, its effects permeated to every lower level bedroom as well as up to my bedroom on the main floor to the kitchen, living room, dining room and bathroom. In short, the whole house was contaminated because of a small fire in a contained location.

The insurance company has set us in a several hotel suites and the family is doing ok, terribly inconvenienced but ok. But the house is another story. The professional restoration people has practically wiped my home out. They have taken everything from the pictures that were on the wall to every VCR tape we had in the house. All the furniture, tables, chairs, beds, dressers, clothes, shoes, washer, dryer, pots, pans, vases…EVERYTHING was packed in a box to be cleaned offsite and brought back after renovation.

I had a tough time with this. It seemed a bit overboard and it was inconveniencing me even further. I had to go buy pans & pots to cook with at the hotel for goodness sake. It seemed to me that as long as the basement was cleaned, the rest of the house should be fine. But the professionals knew better. They knew that after the reconstruction, the painting, the cleaning of carpet, washing on walls and every crevice of the basement was not enough to ensure that my home would smell appropriately and not continue to push smut though the air from one room to the next…. They HAD to take out everything that was touched by smoke, take it away and clean it. In so many words they told me, its all gotta go. At one point I went and sat in my living room and cried. I spent four years designing the walls and finding the perfect B & W photos, finally picking out furniture and making a pretty big house a warm home. To see it all in shambles, dirty, smelly and boxed away was overwhelming. To know my family had to scramble to find a few day’s worth of clothes and my husband lost rest and time having to handle the business of this was more than I could take. Angry wasn’t the word. I should be studying for a play, finishing my book and helping to plan a wedding, not hauling clothes and food in my car to 4 different hotel rooms. However, the professionals also told me that when they return the items, they will look like new and the smell of smoke will not be on them anywhere. Hmmm...that's an upside...

Somebody out there has some things in their heart that were ruined by poor relationships, a torrid past or bad decision making. My advice to you…its all gotta go. Give it all to God and allow him to make it all brand new. You will be inconvenienced for awhile, but when He begins to restore you to your rightful place…you will be like new again. So sit in the living room and cry, like I did if you must…but please know DON’T’ keep the damage hidden from the Lord. Expose your hurts, your disappointments and your desires to Him and let him restore to you the joy of your salvation. But first…its all gotta go.

Why am I given so much to do!!

About a week ago I had lunch with an acquaintance of mine..for no other reason but to get re-acquainted. There was no pretense or agenda…just two women getting together at Meriweather’s (A GREAT place to eat by the way) to eat, laugh, talk and eat some more. For that reason, expectations were low. I didn’t expect to come away with any thought provoking revelations..just eat & have a good time with her. However, revelatory knowledge is available everywhere if you look for it.

Not even sure how we got on the subject, but we begin talking about the parable of the talents from the account in bible & my lunch guest brought out something I knew…but needed to be reminded of. In the parable the master gave three servants “talents”. The 1st got 5, the 2nd received 2 and the 3rd got 1. When the master returned to see how the servants had fared with the talents the first two both doubled their talents so the 1st had 10 and the 2nd now had 4. The 3rd servant was afraid to do anything or try anything daring or new and he decided to bury his talent and presented the master with the 1 talent that he initially gave him. Now I know this story. I have heard it since I was a little girl but it was the next part that I had always overlooked. The master then dogged out the servant with the one and gave it to the servant who had doubled 5 into 10. Why is that interesting?? Well, why didn’t he give it to the one who had doubled 2 into four since he had less than the 1st servant? Why didn’t he give the servant another chance? Then my guest said something that opened my eyes to why I have the schedule, giftings, talents, abilities, dreams, desires, assignments, tasks and jobs that I have.

God has entrusted me with more, because I have handled more and doubled it. I am not afraid to try something new or do something different than anyone else. Even with the responsibilities I already have, I am always seeking how to maximize moments and take things to the next level. So writing a book, winning a beauty pageant, raising five children, working full time, remarrying and now managing a superfamily is good, actually it’s darn good. But now God has seen the fruit of those areas and now there is more to do. So add writing more books and creating conferences and workshops, developing a business, volunteering at the Junior League, stepping up responsibilities at work, traveling, exposing my children to more, different & better, planning weddings and events, developing legacy opportunities for my grandchildren and acting in Community Theater are the next layer. So the next time I ask …Lord why me? I will check myself HARD. I have it to do, because I have been faithful over a few things (not always….but eventually). I have it to do because I can handle it (even through frustration, I get it done). I have it to do because I am not afraid and Lord instead of always asking YOU for double….my goal is to bring YOU back double.

Gardening in the house

His Highness and I are stepping up our gardening this year.  We started a small garden last year and successfully grew green peppers, banana peppers and the like.  This year we are branching out and planting other fruits and veggies such as greens, watermelons, crowder peas, lettuce and tomatoes.  

Our ground (zone 5) is hard and cold right now.  Our growing season is short comparatively.  Knowing this, it is wise to start your seeds in a planter..grow them inside to prepare them for outside.  You are limited by space in the house of course, but by starting small, you gain an advantage to have a bigger harvest than what you would have if you had waited until the ground was ready.

Step parenting or parenting in general is a major lesson of seed….time….and harvest.  If you wait until your children are “ready” to hear instruction from you or accept your advice or guidance, you have lost prime time in making a difference.  With stepchildren this is even more vital because in some cases, depending on the situation, or due to resentment or family structure you may not be revered as an authoritative voice in their life. BUT that does not preclude you from the lessons you can teach from afar, by example…seedlings.

There are things I do, or don’t do that “teach” all time.  The way I serve my husband, decorate my home, organize my day, plan in advance, what I wear, how I speak, my mistakes, my triumphs..  It may be “small” in that I am not sitting down having a one on one consultation on the do’s and do not’s…but my little actions can speak louder than words.  One day when the “ground is ready” my wisdom, insight, or perspective may be better received and a harvest greater than what would have been realized if my little seedlings had not been planted along the way. Seed...TIME....and Harvest..

Get The Rebound...

The 1989-1990 Detroit Pistons was my most favored sports team of all time. Partly because there were no “stars”. Noone really shined more than anyone else…it was The Detroit Pistons against Larry Byrd and the Celtics, or Magic Johnson and the Lakers…they Pistons were always billed as a team (much like the Superfamily :). The reason I believe that their back to back championship seasons were so successful was due to wisdom of their coach Chuck Daly who put every Pistons in the right role for the right time.

Just recently NBA retired Dennis Rodman was in back in Detroit to retire his jersey number 10. Dennis was a rebound rustler. His job was to get the rebound…Dennis rarely drove the ball down court, or took three point shots. Again, His job was to get the rebound. He was named Defensive Player of year and helped the Pistons get two championship rings by doing what he was designed to do and staying in his lane. Other Pistons may have gotten better stats in points or free throws but that “1” in the win column would not have happened had it not been for Dennis’ role. He was designed to play defense. His job was to get the rebound.

In Stepfamilies, the lines of roles and responsibilities can get blurry. You get a lot of unsolicited, although perhaps well-meaning advice from people who have no clue as to the intricacies of the dynamics you face on a day to day basis. Trying to navigate what others think, and what your role actually is in every separate new relationship in the family is draining, demanding and emotionally strenuous. You cross a line here and get slapped back. You don’t do “enough” here and get criticized behind your back. Its enough to make you want to retreat and mind your own self-business (as grandma would say). I know, because I’ve done it and its an emergency tactic to have to get refocused and hear clearly from God.

Like Dennis, You need to hear from the "coach" to know what you are supposed to do. You may think its shooting, blocking, or dribbling..but you could just be assigned to getting the “rebounds”. ..just picking up pieces…here and there..getting in where you fit in.. Its not as glamorous, but your family will not get one in the win column without your skill set and tenacity. They may not even respect it, but eventually…even if it years later…”your jersey” will rise to the rafters and many will rise and call you blessed.  Be diligent about learning your role and then stay in that lane.  THAT is the only place where there is grace to prosper.  If you veer or get into the roles that others should be doing, you will be operating on your own..and alone is NO place to be if you are running a Superfamily.