Reposition Yourself...

The GPS on my phone is pretty helpful. You know the drill, you punch in where you want to go, and the smooth voice tells you which way to get there. They tell you every turn, calculate traffic, distance, barriers and upcoming freeways. All goes well until you do something that the “voice’ did not tell you to do.

You know how it is…we see a familiar street and say…Oh, I can go this way…or traffic looks heavy and you decide to turn off on an exit instead of being patient and waiting. Then the GPS goes into overdrive..it begins to yell at you “You are off course”, Incorrect turn, Incorrect turn. At first it tries to tell you to make a few turns to get you back on the road you were on. However, after you get so far out, you will hear nothing while it “thinks” of what to do with you next. Then after it loads back up you hear recalculating route…meaning the GPS sees that you are WAY off track and is now trying to find the best route based on where you are and where you still say you are going.

Usually that route is longer and more complex than if you had stayed on the initial path to begin with. You will still get where you are going but it will take longer and probably be a little more frustrating than if you had just stayed on the path.

I have spent the end of last year and the beginning of 2011 getting back on the right route. Sometimes you can get so caught up with the projects, dreams, responsibilities and visions of other people that all of a sudden you look up and everything you are supposed to be doing is taking a back seat, Not gonna work.

In a family our size its easy to get lost in my husband's projects, fitness, rehearsal schedules, responsibilities or my daughters camp activties, school/homework, hanging with the Grandkids, housework, work and projects for my employer, and Junior League & Church is another life of its own. But in the hustle and bustle of all of that am I excused from what I am supposed to be doing? Nope. God fully expects me to use what I have to get it done. I am equipped with what I need to do it..and if I choose to do 50 million other things too...thats on me, but I still have a responsibility to my assignment.

So my GPS was off a little...but I'm back on track.. my husband, the Superfamily and the assignments that I have been given from God are my priority. Everything else is secondary and hopefully I will make fewer "incorrect turns" in 2011.

Today is MY BIRTHDAY

Today is my birthday! This pic is the cool sign my co-workers had on my file cabinet when I came in today. I am grateful to God to have another year. The alternative to another birthday isn’t very promising so I have learned as the song says…flowing from my heart is gratefulness..

My birthday is also time for my lists. The lists of things I have learned, things I want to do this year, things I screwed up last year, things I got accomplished, things I have changed. I thought I would share some of them with you. I usually write them in my journal but maybe someone can glean something from my experience…so here we go.
A few things I want to do for me at 42Cut my hair again (I already have the style picked out…C.U.T.E.)
Lose 8 lbs (ok that seems more attainable than 10)
Get a bike ( a 10 speed not a motorcycle)
Plant a garden
Read at least 5 books
Stop e-mailing and texting people that I care about and take the time to actually call them, visit or handwrite them a letter. E-communication is getting so old.
Go on a weekend away to finish my book
Re-Organize my closet again
Get a Sunday School book and study my lesson every week like I used to.
Audition for another musical (what am I suicidal?? lol), but it is so fun..I know I will miss acting when its over…so we’ll see
Things I got done for me at 41Got over the fact that I was over 40
Read over 5 books
Lost 7 pounds (the goal was 15-UGH)
Co-starred in a musical (sing, dance and act)
Changed personal style
Joined a volunteer organization to sow community service (Joining the Junior league was a biggy-I am so glad that I did that)
Got a mammogram
Organized prayer and purpose planner

Things I learned being 41
Do not allow people to make you feel guilty for saying NO or that's enough.
Say no, more often, if necessary
Having critical, uncomfortable conversations is really important to get unstuck in certain situations.
I make time for what’s important to me, and so do others
Being a women comes naturally with gender and age…being a lady does not. You have to study ladyhood and work at it.
You don’t have to spend a lot of money to look nice or have beautiful skin. NOTHING works better on your face than plain Ivory soap, Noxema and Witch Hazel. A total of $7.43.
Be careful not to mimic, look, act or completing imitate someone else’s style, mannerisms, likes, dislikes, words, clothes, hair etc.. Contrary to immature belief, that is not flattery-it’s an insult to God who made me specifically to be me. If I am going to be “them”, then why does God need me? K-duh.
I am 41 not 14. Whereas I don’t deem that as old, I do need to be mindful that I am an adult and I should expect to be treated like one.
People do not have to be like me or think like me in all things in order to be right.

Things I miss
Playing jacks with my sister on the porch
Mr. Softee Ice cream truck
Marathon candy bars
Going to Marching band practice
Directing the choir

Getting letters in the mail

Indian brand Pumpkin seeds in the red bag
Vacation Bible School teaching
School

Going to the dollar store and then the dollar show with my kids on Saturdays
Modeling (some of it, like the clothes…the make up, the shoes)

The New Normal

I was in high school in the 80’s and I remember being in the 9th or 10th grade and wanting some orange converse high top all stars. I am not sure why. They weren’t quite my style. I was quite “preppyish” then. But they were unique, not many people had them. So, I worked for them, saved my money and bought them. (Please accept my belated apologies if you ever saw me in them). It was perfectly normal for me to wear them every chance I got. That along with members only jackets, a double belt, legwarmers, jelly shoes, a nanny goat fur coat were among other fashion dares of that time. If this were 1984, those items would still be normal. But now in 2008, my kids would nail the doors shut before allowing me to go out like that.

Why? Although I liked those things then, the season for them has passed. My "new normal" is suits, pantyhose and pumps for work, green sprite pop printed pajama pants at home (hey, my husband bought them and they are my absolute favorite). But to see me in those pajama pants at home or a suit at work would not shock anyone who knew me. They realize times change, fashions and designs improve and adjust depending on the season and creativity. In 2008 I wouldn’t get pulled over by the fashion police and asked “Where are your purple and gold leg warmers from 1982?” Seems silly, because what worked then doesn’t work now and no one will fault you for changing your “normal”.

That is unless you are talking about almost anything that is not material. If you change your mind about a thought process, a way of doing things, a method of approaching something or a decision, you are looked at as a “flip flop”or unstable. Ok well how about this…how about “I changed my mind”. That's it. Its’ just as plain and as simple as that. What worked for me then doesn’t work anymore. What I thought then was based on the information I had at the time. What I think now is based on what I know now. Some of us are afraid of change just out of fear of what people may think. I’ve had to change a lot in the past 5-6 years. There are those who may not like it…and I say…um yeah well-I don't know what ta tell ya…. Things that used to be important to me just aren’t anymore. Things that I use to HAVE to do or things I HAD to be involved in…Well, I just don’t have to do that anymore. Some call it the "40" flip (and I will lend some credence to that-after I turned 40 my focus did turn a tad to the left and it's great). Some call it maturing. For me, I suppose, I just did what I had to do. That's what a Superspouse/Superparent does. You adjust to the blend and deal with it. Having a quieter home is not the norm now, so? Having alot of space and time to myself is a distant thing of the past, so? My husband not having to share a closet or bathroom is so over (sorry dahlin', but scoot over). Making decisions independent of someone else isn't the way its done anymore, and? We just face it- Our normal is changing daily.

There were certain ways I did things in the past from as simple as paying the bills or banking to gardening and laundry that I don’t approach the same anymore. Or it could be more serious, such as how I handle offenses. Some believe that the opposite of change is consistency. I believe the opposite of change is closer to “stagnant”. As in, you are becoming inactive or dormant. As a stepfamily, what worked in your previous family 9.85 times out of 10 won’t work in totality in your new family. You have to be open to change to function effectively. If you don’t, you will be the equivalent of being in 2008 wearing Orange Converses with a Members Only jacket and purple and gold leg warmers. Not cute people. Not cute at all. Be open and flexible to change and get used to your new normal even if it includes wearing green sprite pajama pants .