Rx for the Minor Funk..E.F.U.P.

Today, I got an encouraging word from someone...just when I needed it.  It wasn't a big fan fare...or anything major.  Just a nudge, a simple text...an 'atta girl" said at the right time to snap me out of the minor funk I was I in. When you are juggling a new business, a full time job, plus the added responsibilities, thin lines and stresses of a blended family, maintaining your marriage and nurturing your relationships..you can wear thin and not even realize it.

I am great at (and a STRONG proponent of) encouraging myself and keeping myself motivated.  However, I hadn't even realized that I was suffering a tad that is until the "Rx" came to fix it.  You expect support from certain people, places, things...BUT sometimes it doesn't happen that way and before you know it, you are in a "woe is me" mode and have no idea why.

It usually stems from the fact that there are people that matter to you, that you want to notice that you have improved, done something spectacular, totally revamped a project at work or even changed your hair style...but when they don't respond as you think they should, you are left feeling dejected.  God cares about how you feel.  He sends a remedy for that ..and I call it an E.F.U.P. (Encouragement from Unexpected People).

If you need encouragement today..please allow me to tell you that you are simply marvelous and fearfully and WONDERFULLY made. I know you are thinking...but what about this...and that...and them...Forget those things that are behind you and PRESS forward.  Everything that you need, to do what you are called to do is within you.  God has fully equipped you to be the spouse, parent, sibling, employee, manager, grandparent etc..that you need to be to fulfill His purpose.  You are even equipped to handle the issues, troubles and problems you have right now. How do I know?  God was fully aware of the problems that would come in your life BEFORE you were created and He built you to be able to carry the load that He would allow.  He is not shocked at what you are facing, he KNEW it and built your character, gave you tenacity, strength, wisdom, and faith to be able to fortify you to walk through the storm. Your past was planned, your schooling, parents, friends, injuries, accidents...all planned.  God foreknew you would be RIGHT where you are now. God specifically designed you and everything about you to be able to bear it...no more than that, but certainly no less.  So, my simple word to you is a line from an old gospel song..."God knows...He cares...and He's working it out for you" .

I am so grateful for my E.F.U.P...it gave me just the ray of light I needed to be able to share this word with you...now what will YOU do with the encouragement that I just gave YOU :) ? {{HUGS}} 

Its' all gotta go....

As most of you know (if you follow me on FB or Twitter)The Superfamily just recent had a fire in our home. No one was hurt and nothing of any real value was damaged (no major structural damage etc..). However, even after the fire dept aired the house out with “superfan”, the house still smelled of burned plastic and smoke. Although the fire was contained to the basement, its effects permeated to every lower level bedroom as well as up to my bedroom on the main floor to the kitchen, living room, dining room and bathroom. In short, the whole house was contaminated because of a small fire in a contained location.

The insurance company has set us in a several hotel suites and the family is doing ok, terribly inconvenienced but ok. But the house is another story. The professional restoration people has practically wiped my home out. They have taken everything from the pictures that were on the wall to every VCR tape we had in the house. All the furniture, tables, chairs, beds, dressers, clothes, shoes, washer, dryer, pots, pans, vases…EVERYTHING was packed in a box to be cleaned offsite and brought back after renovation.

I had a tough time with this. It seemed a bit overboard and it was inconveniencing me even further. I had to go buy pans & pots to cook with at the hotel for goodness sake. It seemed to me that as long as the basement was cleaned, the rest of the house should be fine. But the professionals knew better. They knew that after the reconstruction, the painting, the cleaning of carpet, washing on walls and every crevice of the basement was not enough to ensure that my home would smell appropriately and not continue to push smut though the air from one room to the next…. They HAD to take out everything that was touched by smoke, take it away and clean it. In so many words they told me, its all gotta go. At one point I went and sat in my living room and cried. I spent four years designing the walls and finding the perfect B & W photos, finally picking out furniture and making a pretty big house a warm home. To see it all in shambles, dirty, smelly and boxed away was overwhelming. To know my family had to scramble to find a few day’s worth of clothes and my husband lost rest and time having to handle the business of this was more than I could take. Angry wasn’t the word. I should be studying for a play, finishing my book and helping to plan a wedding, not hauling clothes and food in my car to 4 different hotel rooms. However, the professionals also told me that when they return the items, they will look like new and the smell of smoke will not be on them anywhere. Hmmm...that's an upside...

Somebody out there has some things in their heart that were ruined by poor relationships, a torrid past or bad decision making. My advice to you…its all gotta go. Give it all to God and allow him to make it all brand new. You will be inconvenienced for awhile, but when He begins to restore you to your rightful place…you will be like new again. So sit in the living room and cry, like I did if you must…but please know DON’T’ keep the damage hidden from the Lord. Expose your hurts, your disappointments and your desires to Him and let him restore to you the joy of your salvation. But first…its all gotta go.

Get The Rebound...

The 1989-1990 Detroit Pistons was my most favored sports team of all time. Partly because there were no “stars”. Noone really shined more than anyone else…it was The Detroit Pistons against Larry Byrd and the Celtics, or Magic Johnson and the Lakers…they Pistons were always billed as a team (much like the Superfamily :). The reason I believe that their back to back championship seasons were so successful was due to wisdom of their coach Chuck Daly who put every Pistons in the right role for the right time.

Just recently NBA retired Dennis Rodman was in back in Detroit to retire his jersey number 10. Dennis was a rebound rustler. His job was to get the rebound…Dennis rarely drove the ball down court, or took three point shots. Again, His job was to get the rebound. He was named Defensive Player of year and helped the Pistons get two championship rings by doing what he was designed to do and staying in his lane. Other Pistons may have gotten better stats in points or free throws but that “1” in the win column would not have happened had it not been for Dennis’ role. He was designed to play defense. His job was to get the rebound.

In Stepfamilies, the lines of roles and responsibilities can get blurry. You get a lot of unsolicited, although perhaps well-meaning advice from people who have no clue as to the intricacies of the dynamics you face on a day to day basis. Trying to navigate what others think, and what your role actually is in every separate new relationship in the family is draining, demanding and emotionally strenuous. You cross a line here and get slapped back. You don’t do “enough” here and get criticized behind your back. Its enough to make you want to retreat and mind your own self-business (as grandma would say). I know, because I’ve done it and its an emergency tactic to have to get refocused and hear clearly from God.

Like Dennis, You need to hear from the "coach" to know what you are supposed to do. You may think its shooting, blocking, or dribbling..but you could just be assigned to getting the “rebounds”. ..just picking up pieces…here and there..getting in where you fit in.. Its not as glamorous, but your family will not get one in the win column without your skill set and tenacity. They may not even respect it, but eventually…even if it years later…”your jersey” will rise to the rafters and many will rise and call you blessed.  Be diligent about learning your role and then stay in that lane.  THAT is the only place where there is grace to prosper.  If you veer or get into the roles that others should be doing, you will be operating on your own..and alone is NO place to be if you are running a Superfamily.

The UN-you

When you see this error message pop up in either e-mail correspondence or when trying to log onto a system...it usually means something you did prior to this step causes the computer to question whether you are a "real person" or not. The system will then require you to put in a code or password to prove that you are not a machine...or spam.

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Everyone once in awhile you need to do a inner system check to see if you are a "real person" or not. Seriously. When people see you...what do they see...the nice you, the polite you, the ameniable you...? Have you been playing the role of "you" for so long that the mask is glued to your face and you don't know the real "you" anymore. You have forgotten what you like, what you dreamed, what you have been designed to do, what you dislike, what you really feel... Its been a whirlwind...years.. months...days.. that you have spent faking a smile, faking a acquaintence, faking a lifestyle, faking a level of committment. You are so used to lying you know longer notice that you eat pickles, just because "the cool" kids did and you wanted to look cool. You pay no attention to the fact that when you get dressed 50 people run through you mind that you want to impress with your new suit or handbag. You only go to that church because your greatgrandad help build the cornerstone. You go along to get along..Fake.

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You have become a shell of who you are supposed to be and if you don't delve deep soon, understand the code and authenticate yourself...you wont be able to go any further. What does this have to do with blended families and 2nd marriages...TONS! With all the sticky and intricate dynamics of a stepfamily you walk on eggshells and tow fine lines hourly. You are constantly being careful not offend or cross sacred lines, sensitivities or boundaries. So you adjust, you change, you flip, you flop, you hold this back...you become the Un-you. Fake.

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You don't want to be compared or viewed anything like the ex-her or the ex-him-nothing wrong with that, uh NOBODY does or should....But the other extreme is that you will go out of your way to be nothing like anyone else your spouse has ever been with. That too is fake.

Enough to drive a person crazy! What's the remedy?

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Cling to your faith in Chirst and keep your conscience clear, for some people have deliberately violated their conscience and as a result their faith has been shipwrecked 1st Timothy 1:19. NLT

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KEEPING YOUR CONSCIENCE CLEAR has a direct effect of your faith. Daily...hourly if you have to...ask yourself one of the deepest questions in the world...WHY? Why am I doing this, why am I saying this, why am I going here, why am I speaking to her, why am I ignoring them, why dont I feel comfortable... You may lie to others, but tell yourself the truth. Relearn you and become genuine, authentic...real. Its time to un-do the un-you.

Nearing the end of an awesome summer...

Hey all;

Hope you like the rare pic of me in my glasses...hayfever season-UGH!

I haven't written much lately (for about a month), because I have really been devoting my attention to some activities that I have been working on for the goals for this year. I stated near the end of spring that I was not going to keep up my current pace, so I started cutting out somethings that was taking up alot of time that I no longer enjoyed. First to go was the Media Dept at my church. I let go all of my responsibilities there as of May 31st. Great dept, served faithfully there for almost 8 years-it was time to go. Then it was Junior League. There were a few things that I was going to do over the summer that I decided against...so I did not quit but decided to just be off totally for the summer. Then there was acting. I just finished Sweet Charity in May and usually you want to get right back out there and do something else in theater...I decided not to audition for anything else this year. Instead, I will help out backstage and that's not until late fall. Soooooooooooooo with all that free time what's been up?...I'm glad you asked...

This post will be about June and the 1st half of July!

In June-

Jerica (J) graduated from high school. Her graduation was very nice and there were many graduates (which is always a blessing to see). Most of her immediate family was there. Her grandmother wasnt able to make it-but all of her brothers and sisters were there, her aunt and uncle, cousins and nieces.

Jordan (the girl) went to Wildwood ranch horsecamp in Howell Michigan. It was a week long and she was in the canter and post division. She really enjoyed it and hopes to do it again next year. She doesn't realize yet what a blessing it is to be exposed to that environment. Most children in her circle don't have any idea what equestrian is...I am happy for her-she is and is going to be, a phenomenal, well rounded young lady....

Jerica (AKA sister) was here. I talked about her visit in the last post. Since that time...Jerica has faced a tremendous faith fight. Her roomates left her high and dry in Florida after deciding (without telling her) that they were coming home and staying, when they too came home for the holiday. So Jerica returns to Florida and expected her roomates to do the same and they didn't... leaving their bills and junk behind. Jerica was stuck with a three bedroom apartment, rent that they left unpaid and a overdue lightbill. But GOD took her little job at McDonalds and blessed it. She got favor with the landlord and time to work on the debt without being evicted. My parents and my aunt gave her money to help. I was able to help her and soon she was able to move into a beautiful newer one bedroom apartment. Rent is paid. Lights are caught up, she has food and a friend who was moving away to Alabama gave her furniture, kitchen supplies, food and others things she didn't have. She attributes it all to Christ and although I cried many nights praying and believing God with her and for her...I am so grateful for the experience. She's a better young lady now because of it and I know her faith is strengthened! I feel so sorry for the other two young ladies...they have no idea what they hav done to one of God's own. They are in BIG trouble.

Fourth of July- was low key...thank God. Jay was home...we grilled a little and kept everything kinda laid back. Jay enjoyed his time at home. He really misses his brothers and sisters alot. I told him that I would work on getting us all together for the holiday! He was able to go to church and see his friends there and he saw his grandparents. He has a great testimony about what happened to him on the way back-you will have to read it on his blog http://www.jaivonanderson.blogspot.com/ .

By MidJuly- I am in full swing...Jordan is in ballet intensive-so she goes every week day...yes EVERY. So I am driving back and forth to the opera house every evening in July. Its ok..I got alot of reading done and some writing while waiting for her. Allergies are rolling...glasses on =contacts out. Preparing for the all girls conference that was held yesterday...this pic is of me studying and mapping out my handouts a few weeks ago....More on the conference and AWESOME AUGUST next post..