Monday, March 23, 2009

My nest is emptying...well kinda

In this photo you will see five that represents each of my children. Well, by the end of the summer that number may go down to just one. Yes, in less than 4 months...I could be down to one child, no more than maybe two of my children at living at home. Now mind you my husband's children will still be there...but for the most part mine won't.

Let's see, 1st there's Oklahoma baby who is away in school and will more than likely- not come back. He would be honestly bored here. I hope he ends up on a mission field in Austraila or Zimbabwe...THAT would be a dream come true for him. He's single focused-get the world saved. That's it..that's his goal. He is the most like our spiritual father (who went home to be with the Lord). He has a compassionate heart...and wants to help hurting people.

Then there's Bryan...who has decided to join Jay in Oklahoma for three years of school. I am almost doubly positive that he for certain won't come back. He will probably find people of like minded spirits there in ministry and ta-da...his new home. He is the most changed...his testimony is incredible and he is finding his own place and his own voice.

My oldest is trying out for a football team and make it or not...its time for him to be on his by the end of the summer-he will probably be making some moves. He's the most like me..passionately tempermental, but talented...a weird, wonderful combination.

Lastly there is daughter. She is moving to Florida next week to work and go to school...heartbreaker right there...she is my right hand girl. I can truly count on her and she is incredible with her younger sister. She's a risk taker and a planner. She doesn't want to come back. She will make her home in florida..and take her sister most summers.

In a few months that will leave me and the baby... that should be interesting.

There will be tears. Most parents, especially mothers who proclaim to be estatic with their kids leaving home are either lying through their teeth...don't have a good relationship with them...or their child is a hellion on wheels, full of drama and pushing 30 years old with no goals. I have a great relationship with my kids and as I stated in this post before...Before I married, I would rather be with them than with anyone in the world. It has not been without trial..I have made many mistakes concerning them. I was 19 when I had my 1st child and I have grown up right along side of them. They've seen me happy..and they've seen me devastated. They've watched me overcome crazy odds and they watched me cry in defeat. They know, for them I would give my last...and would give my life in their stead. I also know they would rip this earth apart strip by strip to save "mommy" if they had to.

They are equipped. They have all I know. They have the knowledge and power of God and they know the number one overarching family rule...Love God and look out for your sister and brother. When everyone and anyone fails you...they will be there. They will be there for marriages, babies, funerals, break-ups, fights, divorces, counseling, shopping, to fix a flat, to house sit, baby sit, loan money, pray with you...cry with you...answer prayer....God and your siblings...if you nuture those relationships right...will always be there for you...even when mommy can't.

They will possibly do things out on there on their own that will make me wonder if this was the same child that I laid on my back for and pushed into this world. But they will also do some things that will make me when Jay was in his school/church newsletter and they had a picture of him...worshipping no less... Or the day that Jerica and Bryan came home with cars that they saved for and bought...without any help from me. Or when Stevan thrived in a new school environment that could have turned out negatively.

I am sure I will slowly adjust. It will be new...I won't be a "supermom" anymore sorta...I will still have John's children around and a house to care for...and of course a new marriage to take care of....but I am not a mommy to those things...I am a wife..or Ms. mommy days are wrapping up fast. Jordan will be 13 this year.... What was I like before motherhood...before all of these little people depended on me for everything. Before bottles, diapers, allowance, parent teacher conference, ballet, proms....first jobs, first cars...It will be interesting to rediscover that. I did an article for MORE magazine awhile back that talked about life rediscovery and how you need to determine and accept your new normals...I guess I need to read my own press. hmmmmmmmmmmm..I'll keep you posted.

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