Friday, July 25, 2008

Growing, Going, Gone....

Jayna turned 22 this week and will be headed back to Arizona and in less than a month Jay will be gone to Oklahoma for college. It seems like these kids should only be 14 and 11 ish but no...they are growing, going and before we know it, gone.

When I met my husband's kids 5-6 years ago they were only about a year away from the time their mom had suddenly passed. My husband was still grieving in a sense, and so were they. I have watched the kids grow and mature incredibly since that time. They are coming into their own now and are finally for the most part, no longer victims of something that happened to them but awesome victors of the life God has ordained. They are no longer defined just as the "kids who mom died". They are now part of a much bigger calling-The Superfamily". They will not forget their mom of course, but they will realize in time that there is more to them than what was loss. That was simply a precious seed for a bigger harvest and the world will begin to see what that former pain was able to produce. It has not been easy for them nor for those of us on the outside who had to learn how to patiently walk through this process with them. They are remarkable and I have enjoyed getting to know them and learning to love them but they are growing...soon they will be going...and then gone.

My side of the crew seems to have grown up with me. By 19 years old, I was already a mom and married. They too have been through alot. They have both their parents, but they have also suffered loss. The divorce and custody issues, The loss of stability, the loss of homes, cars, finances, changing schools continuously, loss of friends, The loss of most of their possessions in a fire, the loss of the availability of their mom. But they are no longer lumped into a box as " divorced children, single mom statistic". They've become much bigger and better than what people may have thought they would be. They are the other side of the bigger calling-"The Superfamily". They have made some mistakes, and some screwy adolescent choices, but they have this uncanny tenacity to survive and overcome. They work hard and play harder. When they laugh, its infectious, they are incredible. Before I married again, there was no one I wanted to be with more than them. But they too are growing, going...and soon will be gone.

It seems like I am running out of time. Did I give them everything I could? Do the girls know what type of undergarments to wear under fitted clothing? Will the boys remember to prefer a young ladies right a way when coming in a door? Will they all remember to clean the tub out after a shower? Will Jay learn how to get through an airport by himself? Will they eat balanced meals when I'm not around? Do they know the importance of putting God first? Will they fight fair? Will they put scripture memory verses and prayer requests on whiteboards for their kids? Will they put bleach in white clothes only? When traveling, will they take extra underwear? Will they know not to even consider dating/courting anyone you know off the top you should not marry. ...the list goes on and on and on...

I guess in all fairness, I get the same amount of time as everyone else-24 hours in a day. I am just appreciating the fact that I need to use what's left more wisely. But hey, there is light at the end of the tunnel... when I "hopefully" become a new grandmother years and years down the road...I'll get more time with them (I mean they HAVE to bring them over right?) and I'll also get a new set of "superkids" to teach to clean the tub out after a shower.

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