Bathroom Stall Missionary Baptist Church

I am so blessed to work in a place now (my day job) that fosters a pleasant environment. It’s peaceful, and quiet for the most part at least in my area. It promotes health, service excellence, wellness, and clean eating. It’s a pleasure to come here to serve and I usually leave with more than I came with. BUT it hasn’t always been that way for me. I have worked in settings that were the polar opposite. To walk in the door and feel the heaviness of immediate stress was common place. Department team members warring with each other and all of the office politics that you could imagine, plus some you can’t. It was in those types of environments that I became a member of Bathroom Stall Missionary Baptist Church and I would like to extend an invitation to you.

This church has been SO faithful and always available when I need it. When I would feel the stresses of the job overwhelming me or when I can see I was losing the battle with my emotions I would make a visit to this church and come out encouraged and fortified…and yes, all it takes is a simple trip to the bathroom.

The bathroom (especially at work, but even at home) can be a GREAT place to regroup and get yourself together so you can represent yourself as a lady would. I go sometimes to just have a moment to pray for direction, peace, guidance or grace. Some go to their office and close the door, that’s an option. But at Bathroom Stall Baptist, you are less likely to get a knock on the door, a buzz from your secretary or a ding from your computer telling you about a meeting. Bathroom Stall Baptist offers just a few moments of peace. It’s not even that you are “using” the bathroom perse’, you are just stopping by as a member getting the time and space that you need.

I can specifically remember prayers that I prayed in the stall at very intense and difficult moments. It was usually at times when the pressures of life at home begin to meld with the tensions at work and I became ticking time bomb. If I had not had the wisdom to detach, take a walk, phone a friend and/or go regroup, there is a good chance that MANY times I would have made a mess of things by either overreacting or reacting out of emotion.

It’s imperative that we know OURSELVES. You KNOW when you feel like you are about to lose it. You can feel when emotions are beginning to overwhelm you. YOU recognize the stance you take when you are angry, upset, tired or misused. You know when you are PMS’ing and how you respond to things when you don’t feel well. Maturity dictates that your tendency to use excuses to fly off the handle in rage, argue or go into a dramatic crying temper tantrum has to be managed so you can grow. It’s time to stop allowing people to make excuses for you as well. When you act a fool, apologize for it and say out of your mouth “there is NO excuse for talking to you like that no matter what I was feeling”. Or you may have to tell someone that you used your emotions to manipulate them or to persuade them to see your point of view.  Its all a part of growth in our conduct, and I tell you...this "church" can help.

It starts with recognizing these signs earlier rather than later and taking steps to manage what you are feeling and facing appropriately:

1. Be honest about what you are feeling and then be responsible. Meaning, care enough about you to not push yourself to the brink of disaster assuming that you can handle it.
2. Remove yourself from where you are. There is NOTHING wrong with unplugging for minute. It is wisdom to put yourself in time out.  Do not feel guilty about it.
3. Re-emerge with a plan to face your issues or the rest of your day.
4. Visit again soon, even if nothing is wrong.  Just go in there and be thankful for a day of peace.

You may have a church home, and that’s great but I highly recommend that you become a secondary member of Bathroom Stall Baptist…there is room in the stall for YOU.

Keep The Main Thing...the main thing: Lessons in prioritizing

This actually happened a few years back, but in reading it in my book again, I thought to share it again here...

My sister and I were talking and sharing our woes about over committing ourselves and trying to fulfill the expectations of others yet, our to-do list got longer. We shared about how we found ourselves making poor choices so we wouldn’t let down “important” people that counted on us, but noticeably at the expense of the people that truly mattered. 

For example, I had spent a week before an awesome trip to Cancun taking my daughter back and forth to auditions and call-backs for movie. She didn’t land the lead role, but she did get a great supporting role and taping was an all day marathon session scheduled for the day after I returned. I was responsible for her costume, hair, makeup, and transportation. I was so incredibly exhausted on the day of taping, I actually thought of what excuse I could come up with to not take her. I know…BAD MOMMY! I agree it was horrible, after the fact I couldn’t believe that I even thought it. 

Why? Because I know that if other issues came up that may have had nothing to do with family, for example if it were for the church, or my job, I would have dragged my tired self wherever it needed to be to help with the crisis for people who actually may not have noticed, appreciated or cared about the sacrifice. I made the right choice. I put the time into my daughter and I am so glad I didn't miss the opportunity to see her shine. I was utterly wiped out, but her energy and appreciation rejuvenated me and yet made me ashamed.


Since when has the smile of a child taken a back seat to the half-hearted kudos of a boss? When did it become ok to spend all afternoon in church, because it’s “church”, even though your wife really needs you at home. Why does the phone call of a manager or leader evoke an immediate response when your spouses’s call rings at an annoyance to you? Where is the same diligence that you spend grandstanding and campaigning for the dreams of other people when it comes time to move forward in what you should be doing for yourself and your family? 

In the last quarter of this year... RE PRIORITIZE..Its time to make the main thing...the main thing.

Bedtime at 9:00 !!!

My husband made a proclamation this morning after ignoring the alarms and dragging ourselves out of the bed. “One day this week, we are going to bed at 9:00 PM “..No movies, just music and sleep.”

Why, you ask? Because frankly my dear, this "life race", has us absolutely exhausted. We feel exactly like "Erik" looks in this picture. For example, On Saturday- My Husband’s schedule: Waking at the crack of dawn to go to training then back home to pick up children for drop off at a rehearsal then heading to the store to get items needed for band camp then back to pick up previously dropped off children.

For me, it was mopping the ½ bathroom, loading the dishwasher, dropping yet another child at a birthday party, shop for a dress and shoes. Then we both got dressed and went to a black tie event (thank God we could sit long enough to eat a great meal) only to head home at around 10 PM long enough to change clothes and for my husband to head back out to the store for more band camp items. For me, I started Sunday dinner in a crock pot, headed out to pick up one child from work, and another from a girlfriends’ house who did her hair for her. We met back at home around 11:30 PM watched a Star Trek movie and collapsed. But then Sunday, its back up and rolling…My husband is up at the crack of dawn to drop off a child at the meeting place for band camp then we headed out to morning services that didn’t get out until almost 2:30pm.

We finally make it home at around 3:15, sit for about 20 minutes while the girls clean their tornado affected bedroom, before we discovered that we don’t have the energy necessary to finish dinner. So we pack up the van, head to a restaurant around 4:30 pm, and muster up the strength to eat. We go back home, it’s around 7ish now and see that the computer is on the fritz. My husband works on that while I work on my weekend project which was to get my old jewelry boxes cleaned out and all my jewelry transferred to my new boxes (that I bought over the weekend) while watching the movie “Mars Attacks” with my daughter (I promised). We finally finish up our projects and its now 9:35PM. We leave the house to go to ColdStone Creamery (which we have been trying to do for months), we get an ice cream, sit on the bench for a minute and talk. We head back home, and the computer is still tripping, so my husband works on that while I get ready for bed. I put on the movie I was supposed to watch earlier while I wrap my hair, get clothes out for today and straighten my dresser. We finally both make it to the bed, and I fall asleep before "Kirk and Bones make it back to Vulcan to help Spock", geez I hope they made it :-). Which brings us to this morning…and my husband’s proclamation “One day this week, we are going to bed at 9:00 PM “..No movies, just music and sleep.”

Not sure what day its gonna be..but he’s right. We are a tad exhausted. Funny thing is, we were three to four kids short this weekend (three were over an aunts house and one was spending the night over another relatives house.) Every weekend is not like this, but most are. It comes with the territory of having a large family. We don’t have drivers, or nannies, or housekeepers, or babysitters or maids or butlers or administrative assistants ready to jump in and pick up the slack…we have well….US! Yet, we get it done through super endurance, super patience and super support for one another. Oh suuuuuuuurrrrre we could buy all the kids that can drive, "cars" ! We could get insurance, help with gas and send them on all these errands. However people, "here on earth" those things cost money-and with teenagers, lots of money. Actually, some are working toward taking care of these things themselves. THAT's what we'd rather see, them becoming responsible young adults and then we'll help. That means that as parents,we are not raising helpless whiny brats and punk lil' girly men who can't manage to work toward anything successfully or have the patience and endurance to work and wait. If it means we run around in the meantime, yeah well, our super cape will fly in the wind and we'll do what we have to do. (ok, sorry if that was harsh...i'm sleepy remember?-but its still the truth)

Sometimes we need to plan better, we’re learning and we’ll work on that. I need to exercise more for more energy-yeah right...hmmm ,where do fit THAT in? Sometimes we need to learn to say NO. There is some cutting away from activities and obligations that we will have to decide on for the good of the group, especially when school starts again. If you can believe this, there are some things we need to add, to make sure that the kids are taking advantage of prime opportunities. I am sure we will find the time to figure that out in between pick ups, drops offs and scheduling time to brush our teeth…But you know what? If sleep is our biggest issue with a family of 13, Praise God-we’ll take it GRATEFULLY and without complaint.