Even the little things

God cares about the things that concern me. Noone can convince me otherwise. Even those things that probably wouldn't matter to anyone else...or noone else would deem important...He cares.

I went to an open house a few months back of a high end couture store at a local mall. My Junior League group had an event there. I remember looking at the clothes and almost choking at the prices for things that I liked. So, I quickly ran to the children's section and remember wishing I could afford some of those things for my daughter. The shirts and blouses were unlike anything I had seen. They were colorful but detailed and extremely well made. The fabrics were thick and rich and durable. The pants were slim cut just like her and some of the pockets had gemstones and embroidery. Just absolutely stunning. I just sorta went through the racks and smiled as I look at the 125.00 price tags and just envisioned her in some of those nicer things.

Fast forward to the shopping for Christmas.... I thought again how nice it would be to be able to buy her some nice clothes. She is getting older and although the discounters clothes are fine and would make due, I just had a desire to do more for her. Not that she would even care, or notice...she just likes "cute" stuff that noone else has on. Anyway, while shopping at a discount store I noticed another store in the strip that I hadn't been in for awhile. I stopped in there (its a thrift shop called "Grace" owned by a ministry/church) and "lo and behold" I found 3 pair of NEW (not used...tags still on) size 0 pants for my daughter at almost a tenth of their normal price. I bought some beige Lilly Pulitzer pants and two pair of dressy Laundry brand dress slacks. I took a picture of the prices. You can see the normal price (the crazy, over the top bottom nunber)..then you will see the Thrift store price and then everything in the store was 50% off their marked down price.

I thought I was going to cry. Not because I found such a supernatural bargain, but because I know God cared enough about the desires in my heart that noone knew about or cared about but He and I. He cared enough to allow me to do something I wanted to do for my baby. It was a little thing...but I thought that was pretty nice of Him. So God, I appreciate what you did for me..as the kids would say "good lookin' out". Thank you for caring for my "little things'.

The Superfamily Shuffle-Play the hand your dealt!

Well, tomorrow is Christmas Eve. The shuffle begins..The kids are home in the morning. John and I are off work and we have church in the evening. John is singing. The Jamersons are going to their grandmother's house. Then, on Christmas Day we will probably wake early ..... open gifts and then the Superfamily shuffle continues.......

John and the Jamersons (his children) will be going over his sister's house. As of this writing, it is not quite confirmed which drives me nuts since I am a planner...but they are used to it...so I'll leave food, drink and plenty of toliet paper just in case...and Praise God...because..

Me and my crew are at my family's house for the Family Monopoly Game and Family Feud Tournament. We changed the theme a bit and made Christmas more family focused. We signed up Thanksgiving and pulled names (so gift exchanges will go pretty quick...more like here, here-thank you...here..Merry Christmas-now GAME ON).

So, unfortunately John and I won't be together for Most of Christmas again but..guess what? I sleep with him every night! I see him every morning...and when the day is done he's coming home. So "other people's normal" no longer pressures me or gets me in a state of foolish expectation. Be where you wanna be...do what you need to do..make the choices you need to make....no pressure..no running around all over the city trying to meet everyone's expectations....I'll see ya when I see ya. Sounds harsh...maybe..but you have to have thick skin and a steel protective coat to be a Superspouse and Superparent. You can't be overly sensitive or let small stuff get under your skin. That's why I am called to do it and many are not and could not. Its not the dream job from heaven..trust me.

Some of the kids were talking and one of them mentioned "that's why everyone should come over here". I gently reminded them that what makes you think that everyone wants to be at your house all the time? Secondly, that's selfish and self centered. Everyone in our families has in-laws and other family besides the nuclear family and they want time with them at their home as well. They can't and shouldn't have to adjust their lives just to accomodate our complexity. That's our problem...not theirs. Its our hand and we have to play the hand were dealt and everybody else can understand...or not understand...it doesn't really matter. We are the not the center of attention or the main attraction-Christ Is. As long as their is love and Christ is being glorified ..wherever you are...you are in the right place.

Mini Praise Report

Oh I forgot...a very special young lady to us was looking for her first job. She was very adamant about working and helping pay for some of her high school expenses. Now mind you, she is a very blessed young lady in that her family situation is such that honestly she doesn't HAVE to work. She also makes excellent grades in school. She is very active in various groups and activities in school and in the community. She helps her mother out in ministry and in her business which is alot of manual work. She is juggling it all like a champ. I told her she is learning time management skills early and that lesson is invaluable and will help her the rest of her life.

She lost her dad a few years back and my constant prayer for her and her sister was that they grow up to be responsible, respectable, educated, God fearing, hard working young ladies that would make their daddy proud. I remember being with a group of people and we were praying against any spirit that would make them feel like victims or that would give them an "entitlement type" bitter spirit as if the world owed them something. Watching them over the years...well..its just been remarkable what God has done. They are abslutely incredible. I attribute alot of it to their mom but of course all praise goes to God!

Well, the oldest baby has landed and started her first job in the midst of an economy that NO ONE is getting hired anywhere and people are getting laid off daily. Her mom says its the F.O.G....and I agree (Favor of God).

So moms and dads hang in there...no matter what your children have faced, I (and this young ladies mom) would tell you that God can do anything but fail. Provide jobs outta nowhere...ooo wee...God honors a diligent heart. Denounce laziness and excuses. Teach then to be diligent and responsible and they will knock the lid off of what God can do.

Put your mask on first!

On a recent flight , I was reminded of a most awesome analogy for managing a marriage and family...especially a complex family such as a blended one.

As you know, flight attendants always tell you to put your oxygen mask on first before assisting your children or other passengers. WHY? Because frankly you can't help anyone if you have passed out. It is less likely that a child will be able to help you if you have passed out because of helping them. Technically speaking at 35,000 feet you have about 9-15 seconds to get oxygen flowing to you as an adult before you pass out. If you have the mask on and then pass out, when you get to a lower altitude you will most likely regain consciousness and not have any harmful effects. So, if you put your mask on 1st and then assist your child or others...when things stabilize, all should be well. But if you help everyone else and end up unconscious without a mask, the chances of your survival are nil.

As a spouse and a parent...and a steparent...you will wear yourself out trying to meet the ever increasing needs of everyone in the house and if you try to do that with grace and patience..you're really looking for a grueling on going experience. Before you know it (for women) you haven't been to the gym, the salon, the spa, or anything that just involves taking care of you..in weeks...or months. For men, you can't be anywhere without getting 7 calls from work, church, wife or kids. An example for me, I have tried to map out specific days to go to the gym and by the time I get home, finish dinner, get homework rolling, get out clothes for tommorrow, straighten out the house, wrap lunches, talk to the kids and sit for a second its time to pick up kids from work and get to bed. And mind you I haven't even said "Hi" to my husband yet or checked on my parents, siblings or rehearsed for that skit I have to do this Sunday.

An example for my husband would be this past weekend we went to see the musical "Wicked" and we don't get very many nights out so I protect and treasure any time alone we get to detach from our every day lives and just give our minds a break. He was really enjoying himself and I thought I had his undivided attention for just a moment. However, I go to the bathroom for 15 minutes and come back to find him on the phone with one of his children. I was so disappointed that he didn't feel comfortable enough to be able to first of all- turn the phone off-not vibrate, but "OFF" and secondly that he couldn't rest for 2 hours without having to get totally out of the moment to focus on someone else besides himself.

It's not the child's fault. They are only doing what they have been allowed to do. It's not your churches fault...you ALWAYS...say yes....It's not your job's fault...you LOVE overtime...It's not your spouse's fault you always meet their needs first in spite of your own.

Are we NUTS ?? Moments like that will kill you as a spouse, co-worker or a parent. You have to retrain people to know and respect your value. You have to take care of yourself and your marriage. You have to know when to say....when. You have to say NO. No to your kids, no to your job, your church, your family, your spouse. Phone off -unavailable for awhile, just wing it and I will get back to you later. Trust me, the world will go on without you. You will be able to rest, think clearly and will be a better wife, husband, mom, dad, steparent because of it. Put your mask on first and then you will see how much better you'll be able to help those around you.

On that note, I am going to eat a healthy lunch and go for a power walk with my co-workers! Its better than nothing :-).